The cold shoulder

Far from being a "perfect day" like those back in the old times...

Almurnado

Today I'm not in the mood, I can't help it. This afternoon I came back to my flat, which is empty and not only because my flatmates are out. I've begun to remember and taking stock of these last few weeks...

I remember when a couple of years ago, a friend of mine complained about how many times she'd been brokenhearted by her (at the most) one-month stands. She wondered why she hadn't found a guy who was worth it so they could have a serious relationship, she said she was tired of suffering like that... I told her I was kind of jealous of her, because precisely, she had never had a boyfriend to whom she had completely devoted herself, the kind of guy you cautiously introduce to your family after a long time dating because you're absolutely certain that it could last forever, you can't conceive your life going on without him...

But in the end, all those years or months, all those moments you believed to be so special and meaningful turn out false. Everything suddenly changes, hopes go down the drain, and on top of that, it always seems like the other person puts together his life faster and easier than you do. You wonder how he could forget you that quickly, what was the real meaning of all those things he told you and wrote with a blue Pilot pen, all blurry because of the tears.

I preferred those emotionless, meaningless one-night stands better than having this emotional baggage that's been piling up, failed relationship after failed relationship. I find it hard to be moved by anything without thinking a millisecond later that everything can end way before it is started, unexpectedly, I'm afraid of losing what I have now and deep down I know it's goint to happen sooner or later because, sadly, now I know feelings change and there's nothing we can do to avoid it.

This is not like Dracula's screenwriters made us believe. Six years and three failed relationships later, I've come to accept at last that it was all a beautiful lie.

"You'll learn to know,

you grow like tornado from the inside

Destroy everything through,

destroy from the inside..."

Tea time, once again

Y voy a dejarme ya de tontás, que tengo que estudiar ;)

Bienvenidos al Club de los Invisibles

Crab if you want her,
she won't be coming down...

Tomybo

"You may think you're pretty high and mighty, Trumbo. But let me tell you this... If I live long enough, and I will, I'm going to pull you down off that fancy horse of yours and shove your face in the muck!"

- Lily Bishop, California (John Farrow, 1947)

"Once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always"

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

- "The Velveteen Rabbit", by Margery Williams,

Because...

All the songs talk about us,
all the films talk about us.
All the comic books, all the stories,
and the patterns drawn by the stars.

"We love each other very much".

Lucien

Now there's two of us :)

Midnight in... ¿Sanju?

Man Ray - Exactamente correcto, Usted habita en dos mundos... Por ahora no veo nada extraño.

Gil Pender - Bueno, ustedes son surrealistas, ¡¡pero yo soy un tío normal!!

(...)

Man Ray - Un hombre enamorado de una mujer de una era distinta... Veo una fotografía.

Luis Buñuel - Veo una película.

Gil Pender - Veo un problema insuperable.

Salvador Dalí - Yo veo... Un rinoceronte.

- Midnight in Paris (Woody Allen, 2011)

Divagando...

Es imposible querer o amar a un sitio o ciudad.

Se quiere o ama a las personas que conocemos en ese lugar, y creamos una falsa ilusión de que el sitio en cuestión es especial, pero no es así. Asociamos una cosa con la otra, cogemos cariño a un emplazamiento porque recordamos lo que hemos vivido ahí, pero nunca se volverán a repetir.

Porque no puedes esperar que, al darle un abrazo a la catedral de Santa Maria del Fiore, ésta te lo devuelva. Es físicamente imposible.

He dicho.